In love with a suicidal patient

Life is given and it is taken but what matters is how you spend it. I always had this impression that life had it's moments and quite frankly I had given up on finding my moment but for some funny reason, that was when life tapped me at the back and handed it over to me but I didn't even realize it. Love they say is a magical thing and I agree but what would you say if both parties had a different view on life? Romantic right? Well I wouldn't be so quick to conclude. 

Chapter 1

I met pearl on a Saturday afternoon at the market. I didn't go there to buy anything, I went there to surround myself with the noise and happy chatter of people buying and selling. I do this whenever my parents engage in a verbal fight and the house gets filled with negative and bad energy that it tries to kill you. They do this alot although it wasn't always like this, oh no. My family was once peaceful and quite happy but life had something planned for me. I still can't believe that it all started from a little disagreement and boom eight years later, it's still the same if not worse than before. You see I was born to a family filled with girls and I was the last and only boy that my mother had for my father. I was made to understand that a huge party was thrown the day I was born and everyone came to celebrate with the family. Growing up, I loved my sisters and they loved me as well, infact I loved spending time with them that I didn't bother making friends my age and before you think I turned girly I didn't. I mean I have four sisters and only two of them actually act girly,the rest are like men trapped in a lady's body. We did tons of stuff together and I loved it but little did I know that it won't last. All it took was the word "NO" and all hell broke loose in my family, my sisters left and then que the arguments and fights but we'll find out more about that later. Like I said earlier, I met pearl in the market and to be honest,it was not a pleasant meeting. I had bent down to pick a piece of apple that had accidentally fallen from where it had been stacked when someone pushed me and I fell. To say that I was angry was the very least, I was so furious that I actually hit the person on the head without looking. "Oww, what was that for?" Said a voice so calm and full of love. The moment I heard her voice, all the anger inside me disappeared and I looked at her for the first time. What I saw in front of me made me feel strange and sad inside. Strange in the sense that I hadn't seen anyone like her in my life. Her eyes were so soft and gentle,her skin was chocolate but the sun seemed to have given it a darker shade,her face held so much pain but you wouldn't know because she did her best to hide it and her hair was a mixture of black and dark brown at the end. If I was asked to say, I'd say that she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen,well apart from my sisters...but I felt sad...no not sadness, I felt fear. I had hit her...I had done what my father is guilty of doing both physically and verbally to my mother and I at that moment I did what was best for both of us…...I ran….. I ran as far as my legs could take me and I didn't stop till I got to the house, ran into my room and locked the door. I sat down on my bed and looked at my hands…"what have I become? I'm turning into him"...after looking at myself in the mirror I got out my close friend, Mr razor and started my tradition of inflicting pain to myself…  as I did this is I thought to myself.."Why won't it just end?"...